my birthday

Yesterday was the day (it passes midnight) and it was a very strange one.

My babygirl decided to "celebrate" almost all night long (teeth, milk, dancing, "talking" and so on), so I did't sleep very much.

When I wake up, I was sleepy and... it was raining. Bleghhhhh!

I went to work with no motivation, but the group I had in the morning had made me a surprise: flowers, an handmade apple pie (fabulous!) and another sweet.

When they sang the Happy Birthday Song I felt happy, but also sad. I felt I was having more warmth there than at my own place.

I cryed without a tear, sufering inside like I didn't for a time.

Ok, there I was, with 20 people I know only since March, with a strong need to cry, thinking about my personal life and feeling ashamed not to be happy the way they deserved.

And lunch time came. My husband gave me flowers (beautiful ones, country ones), but his face was "closed" and I felt (part) of his heart too.

He's tired, but we're also having serious problems, including with my mother in law.

Neither she or my father in law gave me a birthday word and we live in the same town. Perhaps, it's better this way!

Well, when I came from work, I went to the postoffice and got my birthday present from a very special friend. Like always, she surprised me and made me feel special. Thanks Z.. I just loved everything and every word and promise to post a pic as soon as possible. You really are extraordinary!

Then, I piked up my treasure (E.) and went to my Parents'.

My Mother had made a special sweet and I took the birthday cake.

Time to talk with my sister on the phone and miss her a lot.

I received a postcard from E. (my Mummy wrote it and there I cried and cried) and when P. arrived we ate the sweet, sang the birthday song (the first year with my treasure in my arms!!!), drank some champagne, took 3 ou 4 pics and returned home. There was something in the air that made all of us feel embarrassed.

I feel bad, because I love my Parents so much, it was their day too, and I couldn't hide my bad mood.

I know they understand, but... why did I play down my loved ones and good events around me?

Feel a little sad.

Trough out the day, I realized I was thinking about my life and feeling those changes I believe will happen. I felt both strong, small, happy and sad.

Whow, what a Birhday Day!