sadness

Today i'm feeling sad, really sad... completly sad.

I'd a bad night, 'cause i've been working late at night (till 5 a.m.) and i slept just 2 or 3 hours.

My working day was about the usual, but i was feeling tired and sick.

After receiving a present to E., there i was on my way to the last commitment of work: a meeting.

I arrived early and was chating with a colleague of mine when we realized we had someone in common: a fantastic woman in her 30s'.

We met each other in our psychodrama training and we've learned, cried and laughed a lot for two years.

We don't talk for about 3 or 4 years, but i do remember her lots of time and there're so many moments i think to call her but, as usual, "it's too late".

We don't live in the same town, but i know that if we see each other tomorrow it would seem we talked and laughed for the last time some days ago.

A few hours ago, i knew she's fighting a tumor in her had.

A few hours ago, i didn't know if she was or not alive.

A few hours ago, my mind was not in that meeting but somewhere else, near D.

A few hours ago, i stoped again to think how stupid we make our days: we live fast and i don't like it at all!

A few hours ago, i felt happy with the results of my last surgery.

A few hours ago, i just thought i'm a lucky one and hugged E. for a long time.

A few hours ago, I couldn't stand the wait and called D. The mobile rang and i eard her unique voice,... but i could't say a word!

This weekend i'm going to a small friend birthday party (she´s 7!), but sunday i'll give D. a call and be with her as soon as possible.

She's one of the most strong, creative, fun and humanitarian woman i've ever known.

She'd a great view of life, events and thoughts. I really hope she holds on!

With all this, I standed in the car for a while, thinking that i can no longer wait for these kind of momments to make efforts to be with the ones i love. I usually say this, but it has been a long time since i really do it.

This time, i think i won't forget it.

You're in my heart, dear D.